Paris Envy

French sister knows how to tie her Hermes carre at least 56 different ways
The Fashionista Phobia is mostly a female disorder.
It strikes young women first, when they realize that their jogging
suits and running shoes are no match for that little black dress and
stiletto heels. The sense of inferiority increases with age, as a
mature American woman fumbles with
her scarf, aware that her French sister knows how to tie her Herms
carre at least 56 different ways. French perfume is another source of
angst because most of the names are....well....French. Even cologne and
eau de toilette are French words that lose a great deal in any attempt
at translation.

There are other neuroses still unnamed and emerging: the current
crusade against foie gras, for example. It's pretty clear that
Americans are projecting thier secret sense of guilt over cruel poultry
farming in the U.S. by running to the rescue of ducks and geese in
France.

There is also periodic wine schizophrenia: dumping excellent bottles
of Burgundy and Sauterne, even Champagne, during a crazed spell of
francophobia, and then convincing oneself that the Shiraz from
California or the plonk from Australia is just as good.

Last but far from least, there is a constant undercurrent of paranoia
in regard to the French lifestyle. Americans are raised on the work
ethic, and often pride themselves on being workaholics. The French, as
we know, have reduced their work week to 35 hours, take five-week paid
vacations every year, and sneak off whenever they can to loll in a
cafe. This, conclude most Americans, is taking the pleasure principle
too far. Somehow, it seems to threaten, or at least contradict, our own
Pursuit of Happiness. The French are having more fun!